Revolutions and Trying

Amid rolling blackouts and severe weather warnings, I want to talk about something that warms me to my core: kindness. There's a revolution stirring in the corners of social media and spreading further across the globe as I type. This is not a new concept. It is certainly not an outdated idea. With the spreading of the RAKnomination phenomenon, people are coming round to the idea that kindness can change the world. This philosophy is an old one, but I believe it is the most truthful. For too long, society has labeled individuals and allowed them to be persecuted for whatever reason. I am so sick of the way this world carries itself. It's difficult for me to write like this because I've always hated the idea of no one individual being specifically culpable, but I've realised that THAT is the exact point. We can point fingers as long as we live, but in doing so, we are constantly pointing away from ourselves. 

The way I see it is that I can do what I can to be kind, compassionate and loving in this entirely imbalanced world, and hope that those around me are doing the same. I'm a hugely optimistic person, almost to the point of naivety as I've been told in the past, but frankly, I would rather be optimistic and think the best of people and accept and love everyone than any alternative. It's a fight and a struggle to show kindness at all times. Sometimes we fight our own prejudices, or we struggle with the way a person presents themselves, or heaven forbid someone disagrees with the way we think. But we go on trying because we know it is right.

I've always been particularly drawn to the story of Mary Magdalene. She was seen as the lowest of the low, a prostitute who deserved nothing but death. And yet, Jesus saved her. He put his own body in the line of persecution and called for her killers to reflect upon themselves. I am drawn to this story for 2 reasons. 1. I can relate to Mary in her sin and guilt and 2. I can relate to the persecutors who stood there that day ready to kill a woman, while each of them had their own faults.

So what do we do with this inevitable failure in life? We try. We try again. We never stop trying to live the life we are called to. And in this, ironically, we triumph. In this, we take our place among the great men and women of this world. In this, we use our past as the foundation for a wiser, brighter, kinder future. If this seems totes depressballs, you've not read it right. You've not read it right because my point here is that in goodness, kindness, compassion and love, we triumph. In God we triumph.


Ode to Trying

I recently spoke with a friend
About our Stories.

Our Stories are our past.
Our Stories explain why we are the way we are, 
They convey our insecurities, 
Our fears, our joys, our blessings.
They shed light on the areas of our lives, 
That have brought us to this point.

But our Stories do not define us.

My past does not define me.
In the same way, I cannot simply ignore my story and start a new life.
No, we build, we move, we learn.
Our pasts do not define us,
It is what we do with our past that defines us.
A broken past, a broken family, a broken heart,
These things are hard to overcome.
But they are not impossible.
We try, we try, we try.
All we can do in this life is try.
With hope and direction and faith, we try each day.

They say anything worth having is worth fighting for.
Then fight. 
Fight whatever is stopping you from doing the right thing.

Fight to understand, to learn, to obey, to listen, to hear,
to improve, to love, to believe, to dream, to build, to create,
to pity, to sympathise, to support, to encourage, to have faith,
to be equal, to be heard.

Because it's a life worth fighting for.


Pretty heavy stuff, but we're living in an intense world so whatevs. Hope you all have a great week. Thanks for reading!

Dios te bendiga,

Eilidh

Brats and Communist China

There are certain things you don't count on when you go a year to Spain...getting a wicked cold is one of them. I'm super stuffed up this week, and it's making it an extra struggle to get to work and to be away from home. But I press on because these are not real problems.

I have this one class who are, to be politically correct, a bunch of brats. Now don't get me wrong, they're lovely kids, they have just never been told "No." in their lives. This made me think of my own upbringing. I don't easily throw around the word "oppression", but the Good Lord knows that I was told "No." as a child. Mum/Dad I'm toootes joking about the oppression comment. Please don't get the wooden spoon. Anyway, my point is that I am beyond grateful for my childhood/upbringing. I was given an all-access pass to one thing, and it was love. I definitely didn't see it at the time, and I definitely gave my parents a hard time, but looking back I know that everything has formed me into who I am today. So I guess this one goes out to the parents who know when to say "No." And the kids/teenagers who think they're living in Communist China...just deal with it and trust them, man.

This week, I thought I'd share something I wrote a while ago. To understand this, you need to know that I've always found it easy to be creative when there are no boundaries. This means sometimes I start writing and never finish. It also means I write things at times from the viewpoint of my younger self. This is one of those and as I read it back, I realised that it perfectly represents that moment in my life when I decided that I want to live for God. The Dr. Seuss-esque rhyme makes it seem quite juvenile but I think that's the intention. I think it expresses the vulnerability of a young person, for whom nothing is certain, suddenly realising that there is one certainty in life. I'm saying this, but I definitely didn't think this much about it while writing it...anyways, without further ado, here it is.


Ode to The Moments

There are moments in life where I stop and I think,

There’s me and there’s God and there seems no link,

Then a moment follows where I stop in my tracks,

Realising what He’s done I need to give back.

I grow from each moment with time and with hope,

And even when I’m at the end of my rope,

I call upon God for He’s the only one,

Who saves me each time with the power of His Son.

The power to remind me of all of the love,

He showed me when He sent His Son from above.

The power when He says it was all for you,

That His sacrifice should strengthen and renew.

These moments I live I wouldn’t take back.

When He’s at my side with a hand on my back,

Nudging me on to the goal He set out,

The life that I’m worth, another step on the mount.

And so I press on with my heart set on Him,

For the one who forgave me my every last sin.

To Him be the honour of all of my life,

And to Him be the thanks for His aid in my strife.


Thanks for reading. Until next time, Dios te bendiga,

Eilidh

Travelling and Epiphanies

Did you know that the Epiphany is Spain's Christmas? What I mean is that they get presents and spend the day with their family and all the things we do on Christmas Day, they do on 6th January. They didn't actually even celebrate Christmas until like 10 or 15 years ago when it's commercialisation hit the shores (or stores?) of Spain. The big companies saw how much money they could make by having two days to buy gifts for and they've never looked back. I asked a kid at school what they got and they said "I got a tablet for Christmas and a Laptop for Reyes." (which is Spanish for Kings, as in The day the Kings came, as in the Epiphany) To me, that's just cREYESzy. lol.

In honour of this special day, I'd like to share an epiphany I had. (GET IT?!) As some of you know, I chose the biggest trek of a travel plan which totaled about 70 hours there and back. It was entirely worth it, but something happened on my way back to Spain that struck me. I had an idea...It might have been God, it might also have been extreme exhaustion...either way I'm going to try it out and hopefully keep it up. The idea is to write an Ode Series. Now I only did high school English and I'm not hugely familiar with the world of poetry, but on my travels I began to write, and what I wrote surprised me and this just seemed to fit.

The idea came to me as I cast my mind back over the Christmas holidays and wondered why it felt so special and the answer hit me straight away: people. People are what make my life special. People are where I see God. He works through people to get to me and it's effective. There are too many people in my head that I would want a chance, and the courage, to honour personally so this is my way of doing that.

With that in mind I'd like to share what I wrote.

Ode to the Broken

There are people in life,

Well, there are lives,

That become broken.

Death, separation, poverty, depression, abuse, darkness.

Through no fault of their own,

They find themselves,

Well, a part of themselves,

Broken.

Class does not protect them.

Money cannot save them.

Running will not heal them.

There are those who break,

And declare themselves irreparable.

Well, it seems that way.

Then there are those who break,

And fight to repair what’s broken.

These people find their strength

In love, faith and hope.

Two young girls who lost their mother,

On Christmas Day, 3 months later,

Somehow become a light for everyone around them.

They shine out with love and hope for the future.

Do not think they are unbroken.

These young girls are shattered.

The difference is that they did not allow the end of one life,

To be the end of their own.

These young girls are my heroes.

They will wander in 50 years still with scars of the break.

But what will seep through these scars?

Hatred and bitterness and cynicism and darkness?

Or love and faith and hope and support for others in similar situations?

If you asked me, I’d say humans never fully recover from a break.

Yet there remains a choice.

A simple choice, made difficult through natural tendency.

A choice that will change their life,

And the lives of everyone around them.

Accept and share an all-encompassing love,

Or numb the pain, and reject positivity.

These are both dangerous paths,

One can bring hurt and painful memories and vulnerability,

The other can bring only darkness.

Make the right choice.

Thanks for reading and I'm open to suggestions as to where this could go/how I could improve the idea! I hope you are all enjoying a new year filled with new opportunities for love, faith and hope.

Dios te bendiga,

Eilidh

Beauty and Radiohead

Hi everyone, how's life? I've had a really encouraging week, and wanted to share a few things with you. First of all, I'm learning how important it is to appreciate the small things that happen. This has been a recurring theme of my time here, but it's still a novelty to me and it's making life a lot more exciting! Not that strange things are happening to me, just that I'm smiling more often because I'm taking time to appreciate the beauty of life. I recommend this to anyone who feels like life is getting hectic...just stop once in a while and look at God's creation or watch a parent interact with their kid or listen in to a conversation between two kids. I know we can't all afford the luxury of sitting around, but the magic of these situations is that they happen while the world is bustling around about them and for just a second, you remember why you're here, or what makes you happy, and that's when the smile comes. This week I was reminded of some of the happiest times in my life when my oldest and dearest friend sent me some hilariously nostalgic pictures.

Sometimes I laugh at myself, because I just know that if my too-cool-for-school-badass-high-school-self could see me now she'd kick my ass for being such a sap. But that's what growing up is, and as I've grown up, my true self has been revealed as this sentimental marshmallow-human hybrid. Don't get me wrong, I'm still badass as ever, I still like rap music and sometimes I drink coffee, but whatever tendency there was in me towards rebellion has pretty much been replaced with a constant longing for Christmas, and an aching in my heart when I realise Celine Dion will never supply a personalised soundtrack to my life.

I've not got much more to say right now, apart from the fact I'm super excited to come home for Christmas and see those of you in Glasgow and tell you all some funny stories! For now, I'll leave you with some more snippets of my life as a Wanderer:

1. There's a real character of a woman who plays guitar at my local church and today in mass I'm almost positive she played Creep by Radiohead during communion.

2. I'm currently sitting in a cafe and across from me there's a guy playing spot the difference in the newspaper with his daughter and they're both getting really into it. These are the things we miss if we're always in a rush.

3. I got called English again this week, and before I could say anything one of the kids I teach was all over it like "she's not English, she's Scottish. Calling her English is like calling us Portuguese!" At this, the person apologised profusely and I just laughed. My work here is done.

4. There's a festival here called Magosto which basically celebrates the existence of chestnuts. To cut a long story short, I explained the game of Conkers to a class of 16 year olds and they were all fascinated and wanted to play!

Thanks again for reading and for the continued love and prayers, I really appreciate it all!

Dios te bendiga,

Eilidh

Independence and Irn Bru

Hi everyone, apologies for not blogging in a while! My life basically got super hectic in the past 2 weeks and I am only now catching my breath. It’s weird that it’s the busiest time for me so far and yet I find myself missing home more than ever. I always thought the homesickness would come when everything was calm, but I’ve experienced the opposite. I think it has a lot to do with my struggle over the past couple weeks between sitting back and stepping up. 

There’s a certain level of emotional torment that comes with leaving home for the first time, and it’s made even tougher when you throw in a foreign language and a lack of communication with your people at home. The struggle presents itself as a choice that I can’t hide from, can’t delay, and really can’t afford to get wrong. It comes down to this: I can either sit back and let the year happen, without putting in much effort but still getting to live here, or I can step up and be responsible and take a pro-active approach to my time here and try to get the most I can from it. My tendency towards laziness means I really want to do the first one. But instead, every day I try to turn to God and ask for the strength of mind and character that it takes to make the most of life. And every day He blesses me. 

Today someone asked me how I feel about the Independence Referendum stuff and as I was talking I realised how far outside of my normal existence I am right now. Everything down to the stinkin’ UHT milk is different. Then I remembered my constant. The one thing that has gone through everything by my side, at times as a crutch, the only thing stopping me from falling flat on my face and the greatest thing that ever happened to my life. God. Every day I thank Him for giving me parents who taught me how to hold myself and how to have a relationship with God, friends who support me through everything and who can understand me, and a more than comfortable life, I’m living in Spain flipsake! 

It may not be very concise or well written, but I knew I had to blog and all I could think about was how extremely grateful I am for life and its joys! Here’s some more fun stuff:

1. El Corte Ingles has discontinued the "energy drink" Irn Bru. I have not been this disappointed in the human race since Jedward got famous. I am working to resolve this matter.

2. I officially forgot the English translation for a Spanish word today and had to look it up.

3. The Galician Council have decided they're not going to pay an Erasmus Grant to outgoing students after this year. People here are heavy raj.

4. All da teachers in tha house say heyyyy: I'm experiencing teaching for the first time and I am thoroughly enjoying it. I've also been keeping up with "Educating Yorkshire" and this is adding to the experience.

Thank you thank you thank you. And for those of you in Glasgow, I booked my flights home for Christmas so holla holla I can't wait!!!!

Dios te bendiga,

Eilidh

Oppression and TK Maxx

If you know me, you know that Music, TV and Film have played huge roles in my growing up, and truthfully they have taught me a lot. Obviously I have not blindly followed what the media tells me, but I have paid close attention to the way the world works and thinks, and I have made choices for and against these ideologies. I had a particular interest in stories of oppression, which I found in the lyrics of Eminem, Kanye West and Jay-Z, in films like “The Help” and scattered across the pages of my two favourite man-made works, “Les Miserables” and “Harry Potter”. Secretly, I would have moments when I would be annoyed that I had such a cushy life, living in Clarkston, going to an amazing school, having loyal and kind friends, being part of a strong and functional family and knowing an all-powerful God who would forgive me at every turn. I wanted to have “life experience”, wanted to be down in the gutter and work my way up, prove to myself and everyone around me that I didn’t need a leg-up in life, that I could do it all on my own. 

I was an idiot. I realise this now. At the ripe old age of 20, I have been put out of a house. If you want to know details, feel free to ask me but that’s not my point here. Due to miscommunication and, to be perfectly honest, a lack of effort on my part, I finally know what it feels like to live uncomfortably. And yet, I still find myself with some semblance of money in the bank, with good friends who I know will be praying for me, with a family who are a better support system than I deserve, and with a roof over my head. Us poshies don’t have the faintest idea what it’s like to be truly oppressed. We cry when we’re not allowed on the Xbox because we didn’t eat enough of the hot dinner that was made and placed in front of us. We lash out when our parents don’t let us go on the £900 ski trip with the school because they need the money to feed and clothe us, or when they do let us go but we have to buy our own equipment with the pocket money they have given us which, while we’re at it, we never think is enough for a young person to live off. I don’t mean to offend and these are definitely not situations I have witnessed, but what I’m saying is we, living in first world countries, can at times forget to be thankful for everything.

I know this is not a new way of thinking, but I realise now more than ever how good I’ve had it, and how much I failed at times to appreciate that. It’s funny the way that works, recently a friend posted a quote that sums it up: "Character can not be developed in ease and quiet; only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened."

There have been few times in my life that I have realised this and when I think back they have all been times that I have been metaphorically chucked out of the Casa de Cushy Life. The death of my Aunt, Kairos Summer Households 2012 when we talked and prayed with a woman who had been suicidal for several years, and when my boss at TK Maxx said I couldn’t have time off to visit my friends in Dublin. Obviously, these times have varied in gravity, but the same effect came from them as has come from the situation I find myself in now.

Paul wrote in a letter to the Philippians “11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”

I understand him now. My contentment comes from Christ, and only Christ. In that ultimate sacrifice, He showed me that He can overcome anything thrown my way, and this knowledge is what I live by. And this is why I am sitting here smiling. I could write a lot more but I’ll be surprised if you’re all still reading by this point. I hope you’ve found some joy/assurance through what I’ve written.

So today, be thankful for something you’ve taken for granted. Thank God, a parent, a teacher, a friend for giving you something that has improved your life in any way. God is Love, Rev Run. Lol.

Another list:

1. People keep talking to me and being like "you're the Scottish girl teaching at the school?" and I'm like famous basically guys xo.

2. I went on my first adventure ramble (I walked in one direction until I wanted to turn back) and it was amazing, photos will be on FaceyB.

3. For the first time in my life, school is fun. I actually look forward to my classes and the kids are awesome.

4. I made friends!!! One of the classes I help is full of people my age and they seem to have accepted me cos they invited me to a party so wooooo.

5. I am still overwhelmed by God's protection and I have to thank you all again for your thoughts and prayers and general greatness.

Dios te bendiga,

Eilidh

Hope and Chorizo

This week I heard a Gallego poem by Rosalia De Castro that struck a chord and I wanted to share it:

Adiós rios, adios fontes.                           Good-bye Rivers, Good-bye                                                                                  Fountains.

Adiós, ríos; adios, fontes;                     Good-bye rivers, good-bye fountains;
adios, regatos pequenos;                      Good-bye, little rills;
adios, vista dos meus ollos:                  Good-bye, sight of my eyes:
non sei cando nos veremos...                Don’t know when we’ll see each other

¡Adios groria! ¡Adios contento!               again...
¡Deixo a casa onde nacín,                     Good-bye, heaven! Good-bye,
deixo a aldea que conozo                      happiness!
por un mundo que non vin!                    I leave the house of my birth,
Deixo amigos por estraños,                   I leave the hamlet that I know
deixo a veiga polo mar,                        For a world I haven’t seen!
deixo, en fin, canto ben quero…             I leave friends for strangers,
voume soio, sin arrimo…                       I leave the lowland for the sea,
¡Miña terra, ¡adios!, ¡adios!                   I leave, in short, what I well love…
¡Adios tamén, queridiña!…                    I part alone without a friend…
¡Adios por sempre quizais!…                 Good-bye land of mine, good-bye!
Dígoche este adios chorando                 Farewell to you too, little darling…!
desde a beiriña do mar.                        Farewell forever perhaps…!
Non me olvides, queridiña...                 I send you this farewell crying

¡Miña casiña!,¡meu lar!                         From the precious coastline.                                                                       Don’t forget me, little darling...

                                                          My dear house! My home!

My point is that this leaving home business is tricky. It has more unexpected twists and turns than a good season of Grey's Anatomy. As I experienced some of this turbulence recently, I turned to self pity (and whisky, but not like an alcoholic, I just had a dram cos I missed home...just to be clear). Then, yet again, God intervened. I saw this video and got thinking about those less fortunate than myself, specifically the millions of people who are forced to leave their homes, everything and everyone they know, because of something that they did not choose. war, famine, epidemic, poverty, abuse, abandonment...sadly, the list goes on. 

This is why it is so important to me to live in hope. Because, even when I am lucky enough to be living a comfortable and happy life, I have brothers and sisters who are not, and it is my duty to live in hope for them. Hope is not an easy thing to see. It can be blurred, even to those of us with 20/20 vision. This blurring generally occurs when and where hope is needed most, and that's no coincidence. This is why it is so important that we see it clearly for each other. I'm sure you have all had a friend come to you worrying about a situation and seeing no way out, and I'm sure at times you were able to see a way out where they couldn't. We live in hope, not only for ourselves, but for one another. Life is not a 1-Player game.

This may seem super deep for an Erasmus Student's blog, but one of the biggest benefits of my time here in Spain has been having the time to actually think about these things. I am growing as a person because I have nothing and no one to hide behind, and I am at a stage where I have to choose a life of hope. It's not a one time thing, but rather a daily choice.

Here is another list of things that happened this week:

1. The father of the family I'm staying with calls everyone in government a "chorizo" and as we watched the news the other night, he hit out with one of the best lines I've heard so far. "There is not enough bread in this country for the amount of chorizos."

2. I have a flat! I will be moving in next friday and I'm reeeeeally looking forward to living on my own and having more adventures! side note: it's right next to an amazing beach and I know we're entering winter, but visitors are always welcome!

3. I met a girl who lives in East Kilbride, which is 10/15 minutes from where I live at home! She's doing the same thing as me in the same region and we're hoping to meet up soon. It's a small world after all.

4. It's 9th October and it was 27 degrees today. life is tough...

Thank you all again for reading and praying for me and everything else you've done.

Dios te bendiga,

Eilidh